


where will you hide

by kira_katrine



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dreams, Established Relationship, F/M, Nightmares, ToT: Battle of the Bands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27242311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira_katrine/pseuds/kira_katrine
Summary: For years, Allison had chosen to make her life a lie.She didn't want that anymore. But total honesty just wasn't an option.
Relationships: Raymond Chestnut/Allison Hargreeves
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11
Collections: Trick or Treat Exchange 2020





	where will you hide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inquisitor_tohru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inquisitor_tohru/gifts).



> This was written for the Battle of the Bands challenge, inspired by the song 'Everybody's Fool' (Evanescence).

The halls of the Academy shifted as she walked. One moment, everything was as it had been when she’d last been back. The next, everything towered over her, a tabletop just reaching her eye level, casting long shadows over Allison’s path.

There were whispers in the walls. As Allison approached her own childhood bedroom, the whispers grew louder--she still couldn’t quite make them out, but they surrounded her, warped and twisted together until they seemed to combine into one, one young woman or perhaps even young girl--

_“I know the truth. I know who you are.”_

“No,” Allison muttered to herself, about to turn back--but no, she couldn’t, could she? She’d gotten herself into this. She had to face it. No more hiding. No more lying.

_“You’ve betrayed me,”_ the girl’s voice said, seeming to come from inside the next room, Allison’s room. _“You don’t know--you’ve betrayed me--”_

“Vanya?” Allison called out--because who else could it be, in this house, because if it really was Vanya then she, Allison, would deserve it, whatever she had to say.

She stepped into the room. There were the pink bedspread and the lacy curtains, the fashion magazines and pictures on the walls.

There was no Vanya there. No trace of her sister or of anybody else--

\--she looked at the mirror, and saw the face of a skinny girl with brown skin and long dark hair looking out at her. She couldn’t be much older than eleven or so. Tall for her age, perhaps, though shorter than Allison was now (or was she?). Clearly going through an awkward phase. And Allison recognized her immediately.

“Who are you?” she said, looking directly at Allison. “Are you real?”

“I think so,” Allison said. “I--I hope so.”

“Are you?” the girl asked again. “I think you’re no more real than I am.”

She woke up in the dark. When had it gotten dark? She could hardly see. Her mind was filled with the image of that room--of _herself--_

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, heart racing--then relaxed, remembering where she was, who he was--

“Are you okay?” Raymond whispered. “Bad dream?”

“I’m fine,” Allison whispered back. “Just--” _Just stay with me. Just love me. Love_ me _, whoever that is, with no lies and no Rumors._

She’d thought he had. As she’d gotten to know him, she’d felt more like--

\--not like herself. Like something she’d never really felt like before. Like someone she didn’t even know. Someone she wanted to get to know. 

Maybe this was her. Maybe this was who she was.

Except that she knew it wasn’t _all_ of who she was. Just the most of her she could ever expect anyone to love. The most of her she herself could perhaps learn to love again. 

_No more lying was never really an option, was it._

“Just what?”

“Just something silly,” she said. Her throat had long since healed, but she felt a ghostly twinge of pain at the words. “Go back to sleep.”

“You’re sure?” He rested his hand on her arm, caressing it with his thumb.

“Really,” she said, reaching up and laying her own hand over his.

She felt her husband settle back into bed, but he didn’t move his hand. Allison tried to relax back into him, to focus on the sound of his breathing, the feeling of his arms around her.

Eventually, the girl in the mirror would fade from her mind.

She was sure of it.

She would have to.


End file.
